Thread Number: 37777  /  Tag: Recent Vacuum Cleaners from past 20 years
A Hoover of an era prior....
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Post# 402780   12/17/2018 at 22:50 (189 days old) by S_Brisowitz (Omaha, NE)        

Hello my fellow members of the tribe, today I have a Hoover that I shall review.

Where do I begin? Well to start with, it has a platform shared with many other Hoover products of the time. This platform has received more nips, tucks, and overhauls than my sister Belinda had! This is because they needed to try to hold on to the glory days of an era long gone. In the same way that Belinda started to sag as the years went by this Hoover too is starting to fall apart. Like most Elite platform machines, the Widepath with Flaccid Guard Protection is a dirt blower, screams like mad, rattles when carrying or moving, and has the worst fit and finish ever to come in to America since the Chevy Cavalier. I will give the vacuum credit for being a decent performer on carpet, and for not being bad for deep cleaning. However, just like a twink when a 60 year old alcoholic daddy offers the keys to the Benz if he can do a few favors, this vacuum too (whether it be elite or other similar machines) has been whored out and it shows. Most Elite style units one will encounter will be clapped worse than Ashlee Simpson. This means that by now handles are to be cracked, tools missing, fans that threw in the wet towel, and bad motor mounts are all too common.

As I write this I'm on my 5th white zinfandel and it is not enough...

Back on to the Widepath, I feel like I should talk about the tumor attached to it called the "cassette." This atrocity leaks like a Swiss condom, or should I say the hostess after a leather event. All jokes aside this vacuum leaks horribly. Adding the cassette is about as useful as tits on a bore. Seriously, what good is a filter if the bag door exhausts sideways?

Now I should mention attachments, boy do these take the fist. Never have I seen such a useless system in my life. I've seen 90 yr olds with copd with better suction.

All and all a decent vacuum for decent people.

- Aunt Sylvia Brisowitz

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Post# 402800 , Reply# 1   12/18/2018 at 08:50 (189 days old) by dysonman1 (Missouri Ozarks)        
Oh Aunt Sylvia

dysonman1's profile picture
I love you. I love your sense of dry humor (almost as dry as your rump roast). The Elite was such a cheap version of the Convertible, it should be servicing Marines behind the dumpster at 7-11 for five bucks. The soldered in switch was just dumb. True screamers, and fragile as a woman's love. I've thrown away literally hundreds in my life, they are so easy to trade in.

I'll see you and Uncle Morty at the Chinese restaurant on X-Mas day. Mazel Tov.

Now to find that BLT I hid in the fridge.

Post# 402801 , Reply# 2   12/18/2018 at 09:08 (189 days old) by S_Brisowitz (Omaha, NE)        

I always charged 9-11 dollars. I'll have you know that my roast is moist and delicious. Belinda on the other hand, she's drier than a pile of dead leaves and many other horrible things. BLT?? That's not kosher at all! In all reality I only hang on to this Hoover because of the nostalgia. That being said this went through brushrolls fast! The bearing design was clapped right out of the chute, so now I have a CWP in it and it works better... I can't fathom how loud one of these would be as a 12AMP design. Your ears would rupture faster than a cheap Rite-Aide hymen. My sister, Belinda, would know all about that. I bet that doctor Schpenglemeiner had to deal with a few small repairs to the ears....

Love you ROXXY lol,


Post# 402806 , Reply# 3   12/18/2018 at 11:11 (189 days old) by vacuumdevil (Vacuum Hell )        

vacuumdevil's profile picture
Thanks for paying us a visit and showing off this tragedy!
It's always nice to here from Aunt Sylvia!

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