Thread Number: 4994
A bedtime story for Alan...The Little Universal Hand Vac that could
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Post# 55680   12/4/2008 at 18:24 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        

Story Preface - Since Alan has been so disgusted with the profanity lately, This is a nice, no cussing story.



Once upon a time there was a little boy named Creviepoo. He lived in a southeast town where few Landers Frary and Clark products were used because they were just too far away from the Corporate Headquarters in New Britain Connecticut, USA. Prior to the company being absorbed by other large conglomerates, one of which was General Electric, prior to the companies final demise around 1965 current era.

Creviepoo was a shy and small little boy who never had a bad word to say about anybody, and he was so little - this of course was before his bones finally matured around the age of nineteen and he started bench presses, with his best One Rep Max being 325 with an Olympic Bar with two spotters, further he was able to do squats loaded with 450 lbs for three sets of five reps with 30 second rest periods in between each set. Typically on Chest and Triceps days he would finish off with some dips, loading himself down with about 50 lbs. suspended from a weight belt around his waist.

One day, little Creviepoo discovered a new store. But it was not a regular store that his parents would take him to to buy candy, toys, or nutrition supplements usually in the form of whey protein, some tribulus tablets, L-arginine 1000 mg., L-carnitine 500mg. and occasionally, some high carb, post work-out nutrition bars.

No, in fact, much to Crevipoo's surprise, this store was in a place called Cyber-space. It was not made out of wood, it was not made out of stone, it was not steel. What could it be? It was electronic! The store was called EBay! Little Crevipoo could buy anything he wanted at the EBay store! The funny thing about this special store was that there were no set prices for the items. No, you had to "bid" on the things you wanted! It was an auction! Crevipoo had never heard of an auction. You could bid on an item and it stay at that price for almost ever - until 30 seconds before the auction ends and someone who no doubt has ever worked out a day in his sad, sedentary, couch potato life, stuffing himself with all sorts of energy robbing, taste-bud satisfying high fat content garbage steals the item away from him.

One day though, little Crevipoo had just completed his last set of preacher curls with 110 lbs of iron loaded onto an E-Z Curl bar, when he discovered a little tiny, itsy-bisty Universal Hand Vac at his new store - EBay! He was so excited he decided to limit his posing in front of the mirror to only twenty minutes and bid on the sweeper. And guess what? HE WON!!! When the little machine arrived at his house, little Crevipoo decided to share with all his vacuum friends his latest new little machine. He did this by posting pictures he took of the machine on another electronic "site" called VacuumLand!!! The little Universal Hand Vac, manufactured by Landers Frary and Clark and little Crevipoo lived happily ever after.

The End


Post# 55681 , Reply# 1   12/4/2008 at 18:25 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
Pics to follow

time to eat.

Post# 55683 , Reply# 2   12/4/2008 at 19:38 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
1

.

Post# 55684 , Reply# 3   12/4/2008 at 19:38 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
2.

.

Post# 55685 , Reply# 4   12/4/2008 at 19:40 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
3.

The handle's busted - I have a spare.

Post# 55686 , Reply# 5   12/4/2008 at 19:41 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
The little guy really

just needs to be cleaned up. And a new cord installed. I can feel it cracking when coiled up.

Post# 55687 , Reply# 6   12/4/2008 at 20:14 (5,615 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
Sorry about the crummy pictures

I guess I need better lighting, better camera, and someone who knows how to take pictures.

Post# 55697 , Reply# 7   12/5/2008 at 04:23 (5,614 days old) by arh1953 ( River Park, in Port St. Lucie, Florida)        
Crevington!

arh1953's profile picture
The new baby is precious! Just the thing to clean out the Huppmobile, or those pesky crumbs in the dumbwaiter. I like that! What year would you say that was? Seriously-what a find!

Post# 55975 , Reply# 8   12/9/2008 at 19:17 (5,610 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
The following two pictures are a test.

I was not happy with the way the pictures came out, so I went out and got a new camera. The story sucked too, after having re-read it. :( But at least I'll put some better pictures on here from now on.

Rick


Post# 55976 , Reply# 9   12/9/2008 at 19:18 (5,610 days old) by crevicetool (GA )        
Much better...

more detailed.

Post# 55980 , Reply# 10   12/9/2008 at 20:45 (5,610 days old) by aeoliandave (Stratford Ontario Canada)        
"Head tard the laht, CreviAnn..."

aeoliandave's profile picture
Welcome back from the Kodak Brownie Side, Rick.

Now stop staring at the TV snow and clean up that pink goo ya dragged through the wall. "This house is clean!"

(for those who didn't get it : Poltergeist dwarf actress Virginia Kiser aka Mrs. Tuthill. Date of Birth 5 April 1939, Atlanta, Georgia, USA )

Excellent pictures in your future, Rick.

Dave


CLICK HERE TO GO TO aeoliandave's LINK


Post# 55995 , Reply# 11   12/9/2008 at 21:43 (5,610 days old) by luxg ()        

Great find and fun story Rick!! Well done!!


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